"Fate controls who walks into your life, but you decide who you let walk out, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
At this age we all learn and know what it feels like to leave, to be left, and forgotten. You’re going to have amazing people walk in your life as easily, as easily as they left. Over time they’ll be nothing, but a faint impression in your memory. Then you’re going to have those people where you thought would never disappear from your life, whether close friends, lovers, or even family. Those are the hardest to deal with. It not only feels like they’ve disappeared, but they also took a part of you with them. Part of your happiness and your reason to smile, because that’s probably what they were to you in the first place. They were part of the reason how you managed to pull through all the bs you had to deal with daily, they were the reason why you fought so hard for them hoping that they wouldn’t leave, and lastly they were your light guiding you through all the darkness in this world. There comes a point and time where you realize anything you do from that point on is futile, the pain, anger, confusion will be replaced with acceptance. All you can do from this is cherish the time you had with that person, learn whatever they have given you and move on, hoping that you can find someone as special or amazing to fill the missing part of your reason to smile.
Day after day, you attempt to communicate with them hoping that you’d get something back, and you won’t. Eventually over time the person who disappeared will be replaced with someone new, you’ll occasionally think about the person that left you and wonder ”What did I do wrong to make you leave…I was trying so hard”. You ask yourself “What or who am I fighting for anymore, I’ve fought so long that I can’t tell which is which”. Then weeks or months later you finally figure out why, you were replaced, and you weren’t worth enough to be informed. Instead you were left in the dark wasting your time blaming yourself when it was never your fault in the first place. This is why I don’t like opening up, the reason why I rather be independent and rely on myself rather than others.
There’s always the sinking, dread-filled feeling when one day you start believing you’re the second choice now to whomever you’re talking to now. I mean it isn’t assumptions, it’s just a gut feeling of instinct where you can see the person you put so much time and effort into start to slowly drift away from you for someone else. Such a terrible feeling, then again I’m sure someone’s felt like this while they were talking to me.
I try not to get attached to too many people due to the fact when they leave, they leave with a part of you that you never meant to really give. You just get attached because you’re a magnet to a certain type of people. Sometimes you don’t even really notice that you’re getting attached to them, until the moment where you realize you’re losing them. When they leave, you have two choices. You either stick around cause they worth that much to you or you move on to the next person you get attached too. Even then if you move on, you might not even be the same. You may be broken, or lost; at least you’re wiser. Sometimes you have to be your own hero and save your own little heart. Because sometimes, the people you can’t imagine living without can actually live without you."